Living With Organization XIII is Fun? Yeah, Right!
by LilXLostXEmo
Summary: Just when I thought life couldn't be more annoying.. new high school and all, But I just HAD to end up living with Organization XIII! Man, and I thought living at home was crazy.. This is awesome!
1. On the wrong side of the cealing, Audri?

"NO, I DON'T WANNA GO!" "YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL!" "BUT WHY? WHY CAN'T I BE HOMESCHOOLED?" "WHO'S GOING TO TEACH YOU? EVERYONE IN THE CASTLE ARE ALWAYS ON MISSIONS!"

Hi, I'm Audri. I'm 14 and half years old and somehow, ended up living the Organization XIII. I don't even know how it started but what else can I say? Well, anyways High School just started and everyone is trying to get me out of bed. It's always been this same routine, and it's only been 2 weeks. So far, they had to drag me to school in my pajamas or threaten me by using their weapons to make me leave for school. Well, you might as well, just see how I'm able to live with these guys (and Larxene). Um, let's just get back to the story..

"Why do we bother to let you live with us again?" Xemnas says complaining like he always does when it's his turn to wake me up. I pop my head out of the covers yawning, "Because you guys try and get a lot of work done when I'm not around..!" Xemnas glares knowing that I'm right but can't face the fact. Xemnas growled and stomped out of the room dragging Axel in. _Oh hell, not again.. _I thought knowing what was going to happen next. Axel grins getting his chakaram out, "Burn baby, Burn!" I scream jumping out of the bed before Axel burnt the bed to a crisp and ended up on the cealing. "WILL YOU GET DOWN HERE?" "NO! I'M NOT GOING TO THAT DAMN PRIVATE ALL-GIRL'S SCHOOL!" Xemnas rubs his temples, "Oi, fine have it your way unless you want to graduate.." I curse knowing I have to graduate if I wants to out of school for the rest of my life. "Alright, I'll get down.." I says walking down the wall. Axel and Xemnas left while I got dressed. _Stupid school with their stupid rules and stupid teachers with their ok principal.. _I thought since I hated my school with a fiery passion like how we got Raux to hate pink with a fiery passion. Well, maybe Rauxdi is the reason of why the Organization brought Audri and Rauxdi here. Rauxdi is Audri's nobody and yet, her heart wasn't taken by heartless. Rauxdi has been um, 'banished' into Oblivion because Audri blames Rauxdi for her insanity problems. So, no one's heard from Rauxdi ever since summer school ended. (Coughs) Anyways, while I mutter how I hate school, I didn't notice I was heading for the stairs. "AUDRI!" someone yells while I looked back still walking, "Huh- AHHHHH!" I fell down the stairs tumbling headfirst. If you fell down 3 flights of stairs, you'd feel pain too.

I woke up a few minutes later with Vexen and Xigbar standing next to me. "You ok, Aud-ball?" Xigbar asks. I rubbed my head sitting up, "Yeah.. I got to go to school now.." I stands up dizzy while Vexen and Xigbar shrug. Vexen sighs making a portal, "Very well then.." Xigbar pops up in behind me and pushes me through, "See you when you get back!" I blinked finding myself next to my lockers, "I'm going to die if that happens again." Sighing while trying to open my locker. _Aw, shoot! I forgot my combination! _I thought while hitting my head on the locker. I stopped and looked around to see no one around, so I makes a small portal and get my books out..

I sighs hitting my head on the desk in my room. "I hate doing my homework.. WHY CAN'T VEXEN DO IT!" I yelled while my yelling echoed through out the room. I blinked and sighed scribbling down random answers. "You know he's going to check if it's all right and if you get them wrong, more training for you then!" Axel says sitting next to me in another chair. I just glare and hit my head with a book, "WAAHH! THIS ISN'T FAIR!" Axel sighs and leaves through his own little portal before someone came thinking that they broke my brain again. I sighed and walked out of the room and heads for the kitchen for a snack. Next thing I know, when I open the door, 3 lances flew at my head. "AAHHH!" I yelled closing the door and seeing 3 dents mark in the door now. I blink growling and opening the door, "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THROW YOUR LANCES AT M-" Xaldin grabs his lances and throws 2 more at me, "STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN IN YOU WANT TO LIVE..!" I jumped dodging the lances and pouts, "But I'm starving!" Xaldin glares picking the back of my shirt with the remaining lance and throws me out of the kitchen, "SO? EAT YOUR DAMN LUNCH WHEN I GIVE IT TO YOU FOR SCHOOL THEN!" I sighed and walked back to my room with my stomach still hungry. "Here Audri, I got this when you were being attacked by monkey-boy!" Axel says appearing behind me. I grin taking the sandwich, "Yay! Egg salad, my favorite!" and taking a bite out of it. Axel laughs and walks off to his room.

Ok, I can really under stand if you take down as crazy but it's not my fault! Xemnas is like the dad I never wanted. Yeah, it sucks but you get used to it after he keeps nagging you and all that boring 'getting back their hearts' speech. It got boring after the first couple **HOURS****!**

Xigbar is more like a crazy brother that has an eye patch. Yes, he lets me call him a pirate that I think is weird since half the times he's shooting people that call him a pirate. Yeah, I'm scared more than ever now since half the time, he goes around stalking everyone in the castle and lately it's been me (I think that he might want to... Well, i don't even want to think about it! (Shudder))). Other than that, Xaldin and me didn't get off the right foot, and yet we still don't. He hates me making Egg salad sandwiches since it always stinks up the fridge, and I hate it when he throws lances at me for going into the kitchen or when we're training. Either way, we hate each other.

Ok, I'm still wondering if I'm still able to stand or stare straight ever since Vexen started doing a few experiments on me. I know every time he comes out of his room with a leash, I know that's not a good sign for me. He always has to drag me to his room to experiment on me after the last time. I tend to go crazy because of my eating sugar habits and my only reason of running is that I thought Vexen was going to rape me, how that thought comes when I'm sugar high is a clueless reason for me.

Well, Lexaeus doesn't talk to me or any thing else. What else do you want me to say? We aren't best buds or enemies, who knows.. What's with him? Zexion Zexion, Zexion.. What can I say? Half the time he's checking my homework and bores me half the time with boring answers when I ask just one SIMPLE question. JUST ONE!

Oh god, Saix is the worst person to annoy, I still call him a "kiss ass" to Xemnas after he threatened to beat me for ruining Xemnas' office (Ok, i ruined Xemnas' office more than how many toes i have on my feet). I just say he has issues. Axel is the oddest yet craziest pyro that I can ever face. Yeah, most of my other friends are hot-heads half the time, but Axel is more funnier, crazier, and more into burning stuff.. and me when he gets the chance, don't ask – it's a long story and it's too complicated.

Demyx is like the brother I really wanted? It's true; Dem is like the brother I'd always want instead of a crybaby sister who is the BIGGEST LOSER ON THE DAMN PLANET! Um, anyways; Luxord is just plain weird and stranger than me any day! I say that Luxord goes around stalking up Xigbar while Xigbar is busy stalking either me or others in the castle.

Marluxia isn't gay, who knew! Well, I didn't.. Well, he's just the girliest man that I will ever know in my little lifetime before he ends up reading this and hunting me down. Eep! Larxene is just plain scaring me. For some strange reason, I asked where babies came from; and you know what she says? She said Xaldin's ass. Maybe I shouldn't ask anymore stupid questions like that after she found pictures of me and uses then for target practice.

Roxas is like my little brother! ..Ok, I'm younger by a damn year but so what? He's the only one who stands up for me in a situation, well when Xemnas and Saix aren't involved. We sleep in his room so I had to get bunk bed for us. He's scared sleeping in his room by hisself after Axel one night tried to sleep in his bed. Don't ask how that happened because I have no idea. Other than that, They aren't much of the problem half the time. Sometimes, they are just insane.. You think living these guys is fun? Well- HA!

You're **SO DEAD WRONG..**


	2. Stalker plus Emo doesn't mix?

"Audri, are you awake yet?" "….." "AUDRI… YOU AWAKE?" "Shut up and let me go back to sleep." "..Ok, that's it.." **RIIINNNGGGGG! **"AHHH!" I screamed falling off the top bunk. Roxas and Demyx pop up from the top, "Great, you're awake!" I had slept in my school uniform the night before because I was dead tired from having to walk all over the school with (probably!) over 20 pounds of books in my backpack. I hated the button-collared shirt and skirts they make her wear, I rather wear Marluxia's pants (And i look **GOOD** in them)! I just growled, "What did you even want, you guys..?" They both grin looking down at me, "Breakfast!" I groan and crawled over to sleep on Roxas' bunk. Roxas looks at me and sighs. "Hey chicka, what are you doing in Roxas' bed?" Xigbar says lying right next to me. "Trying to sleep, now goodnight-! XIGBAR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN ROXAS' BED?"

I screamed and fell back onto the floor. I just looked at Xigbar glaring, "Are you gay? And stop stalking me!" Xigbar sits on the edge of the bed grinning, "Nooo.. And I'll never stop stalking you!" I raised my eyebrows, "Oh yeah?" I jumped into the closet and came back out wearing a black t-shirt and grey faded jeans, "I'm telling Xemnas!" Xigbar jumps out of bed and tries tackling me, "Oh No You Don't!" I dodged him and makes a run down the door. _Great, now I have to run down 13 doors to reach Xemnas' office.. _I thought while sprinting and dodging Xigbar shooting bullets at my feet. I jumped and turned around sticking my tongue out and trips backwards. "Ow.." I groaned as Xigbar jumps over me and makes a run down the hallways. I growled and runs after him and tackles him, "NO WAY YOU'RE GETTING THERE-" and sees the stairs heading downstairs in front of them, "-first..?" "AAHHHHH!" We both screamed and tumbled down the stairs. "12..OW! 10…OW!" I muttered while counting how many flights they fell so far. Xigbar hits his head, "Oh yeah!" and made a portal to Xemnas' office. "CHEATER!" I screamed while falling down the rest of the steps…

"XEMNAS XEMNAS XEMNAS!" Xigbar yelled as he ran through the portal to his office. Xemnas was reading some papers on my school progress reports. (What the Hell, Xemnas?) "What now, Number II?" Xigbar was about to say something when he ended up tripped and sprawled on the floor on top of me. "Ow… my head hurts.." I said all dizzy from falling 12 flights of stairs (or something like that, my head is still in a wreak). Xemnas sighs and slaps his forehead mentally, _why am I surrounded by such idiots..? _

Xigbar and me jumped off the floor and start yelling at Xemnas many things. Xemnas pulls something from his desk drawer and yawns holding it in the air. I froze seeing what Xemnas was holding and got all sparkly-eyed, "OOOOOOHHHHHH, GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE!" I tackled Xemnas and takes the bread roll from him and hops behind the desk. Xemnas glared at me and got back up pulling his chair back up, "Audri, Xigbar.. YOU TWO HAVE TO STOP DOING THIS EVERY WEEKEND OR WHEN YOU'RE NOT IN SCHOOL!" I blinked eating the roll, "Say what?"

Xemnas glares at me and grabs a paper from his desk, "You two, sign this paper right NOW!" Xigbar walks over to the desk and signs it. I hop on top of the desk and grabs the paper and scribbles my name on it. Xemnas grabs the paper back and smiles, "Now, you guys have to sleep together for the next month.." I jumps off his desk and glared, "SAY WHAT?" Xemnas pulls out the paper for me to see, "Well, if you read it and knew what you were signing, it says on this document that you two can't bug me for the next month about your sleeping arrangements and will still like this for the next month." I glared while Xigbar jumps up excitedly, "YAY! We're going to have sooo much fun together, right Audri?" I glared at Xemnas and walks out of the room twitching, "this can't be happening.. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING..!" Xigbar smirks and walks out of the room. "Oh, and Number II?" Xemnas calls back to Xigbar. Xigbar peeks back in, "Yeah Superior?"

Xemnas holds up the paper to Xigbar, "It ALSO says that you can't use bondage or rape Audri while you guys are sleeping together." Xigbar yells, "WAIT, WHAT? I DON'T GET TO PLAY WITH MY LIL' FRIEND WHILE SHE STAYS WITH ME?" Xemnas glares, "No, and don't even try seducing her either.." Xigbar leaves the room muttering to hisself. "HA, SERVES YOU RIGHT, STALKER!" I pointed at Xigbar leaving Xemnas' office sitting on the steps on the staircase. Xigbar glares and smirks, "Well, the contract didn't say I had to be seen to break it..!" I went pale and made a ran for it but Xigbar caught the back of my shirt and dragged her along through a portal, "You're not going anywhere, bitch!"

"What are you doing in here Audri?" Xaldin replies after getting out of the shower and seeing me scrambling under his bed. "Hiding from Xigbar, he's going to rape me!" Xaldin smirks and gets dressed before opening a portal. "It's too quiet out the-" I muttered and heard a portal open. "WHERE IS THE LIL' BITCH, XALDIN?" Xigbar yelled excitedly while Xaldin sighed, "Under the bed." Xigbar smirks and pulled me from under the bed by my legs. "EEP!" I squeaked and kicked Xigbar in the face. "You little-" Xigbar was about to say with me already running out the front door. **"XEMMNAAASSS!" **

I screamed running down the hallways. I ran into someone and fell over. I looked up to see Zexion. "What are you doing, Audri?" Zexion says holding his book he must have been reading. I heard footsteps and scrambled up to my feet and hide behind Zexion, "Help me..!" Xigbar stops and sees me behind Zexion, "Hey Zexion, can you please hand over Audri?" I saw a shoe print on Xigbar's face and started giggling. Xigbar glares at Audri, "She has to be uh, 'punished' for something she did." Zexion rolls his eyes, "What did she do this time?" Xigbar blinks and glares, "Listen emo boy, Just hand over Audri!"

Zexion stares at them and grabbed my waist, "But what if I don't want to..?" Xigbar blinks confused never seeing emo b- (erm.. I mean Zexion) act like this ever before. Zexion smirks, "You know how I am with girls in uniforms.." "W-What?" I stammered blushing and trying to pull away from Zexion. Xigbar blinks and turns around waving off, "Whatever then.." making a portal to who knows where. I stood there blushing and slipped out of Zexion's grip, "What was that about Zexion?" Zexion smirks and puts a hand under you chin, "Just be glad that I got you away from Xigbar.." I smiled weakly, "Ye-ah.. Well, bye then!" I made a quick dash down the hallway. Zexion smirked, "The looks on their faces were priceless.."

Ok, I learned my lesson to never ask an Emo b- um, I mean Zexion for help ever again, I'm better not have another stalker now.. I told Xemnas what happened leaving the Zexion part out that Xemnas kicked Xigbar's ass into the dungeons and I'm off the contract now! YAY, NO MORE SLEEPY WITH EYE PATCH STALKER! Well, ok.. It wasn't even one day and I didn't sleep with him.. That's still good news, right..?


	3. Good to hang around the crazy & the emo?

"Sometimes you worry me when I ask for help on homework from you, Zexion.." I said one day when i was looking down at the homework in front of me. Zexion glares, "Why, do you think something bad is going to happen like it has been bad for the past couple weeks?" I nodded skimming through a math textbook, "I don't learn anything anyways, school's a waste of time..!" "And for that reason is for why?" "Because I draw during Algebra I.. So what? The teacher is slow when he talks! IT'S LIKE A FRIKEN NIGHTMARE, ZEXY!" Zexion sighs, "Your problem, not mine.." I just glared at him and sat back down before I thought about strangling him. Xemnas said to me that if I killed anyone, I'd die for treason (But i don't even work for them! They are probably experimenting me still and making sure that I don't get revenge my letting Rauxdi out of Oblivion or something...). "But ZE-EXXYYYY.. WHY CAN'T YOU DO THE HOMEWORK FOR ME?" Zexion looks back while flipping through her homework, "Because, if I do then you learn nothing and will end up graduating and not entering a collage because you fail their exams and all that other school shit.." I sighed and leaned back on the chair falling over. I didn't bother to get up and just pouted on the floor, "But, wouldn't I be stuck here anyways!" Zexion looks down at me and rolls his eyes, "So, not my fault you're mentally challenged.." "I'VE GOT DELARIUM, DUMBASS!" "No you don't, smartass. Now shut up and finish your homework." "But I have to draw a picture for this boring story which I don't know what the ending to it is..!" Zexion rolls his eyes and rummages around in my backpack. He pulls out a binder with papers falling out and sticking out of, "You mean this?"

I glared at him and sits up leaning on the desk, "I'm working on it!" "No you aren't." "Shut up Zexion.. Hn, maybe I need a new tutor instead!" Zexion rolls his eyes, "And who are you going to ask? Everyone else has the brain the size of an acorn!" "And what about your's and Vexen's?" "We're perfectically- oh, the point is that noone would have time to teach a 14 year old-" "14 AND A HALF." "Whatever, 14 and a half year old high school squirt!" I twitched getting really annoyed by this point, and my temper was slowly getting the better of me, "Says you! I'm as about as tall as you!" "You wish, Audri." I glared at him and smiled, "I say that 5' 2" is tall for me." Zexion grabs my chair from the floor before glancing at me, "You just can't admit that you're short." "…" "Well?"

"Ok, it's hard for me to say that I'm shorter than you." "You just said so, sucker." "OH, WILL YOU EVER SHUT UP!" I tackled Zexion to the ground. "Off, now Audri." "Not unless you do my homework for me for the next month!" "I'm not the one who needs to go through high school again!" "BUT YOU NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL!" "The answer is **NO!**" Zexion pushed me off while I hit my head on the desk. I growled rubbing the back of my head and swipes all of my books and papers off the desk. "I'll do this tomorrow.." Zexion glared at me as I was leaving. Zexion made a portal back to his room leaving as well.

I stomped through the hallways dragging all of my books and other homework stuff with me. I sighed and kicked a door open and walked in. "**WHAT THE HELL, AUDRI!**" Zexion yelled dripping wet in a towel. I blinked looking up and slams the door shut back in the hallway. "Whoops." I said flatly and walking off while a blush crept to my face. Zexion blinks sighing, "Why does she keep doing that on me? I'm going to talk to her about this later.."

"Are you serious? AGAIN?" Roxas shouts as I dropped off all of my books in the corner of the room. "Yeah, he yelled again today. So how many times has it been so far?" Roxas counts of his fingers and waves slightly, "Eh, about 269 times." "Really? Wow, and I didn't start school until a few weeks ago." I said sitting on the railing of my top bunk. Roxas shruges, "Why do you keep doing that?" I shrugged and jumped down landing on the carpet (There's carpet? Huh, i thought we had animal pelts..), "Who knows and I don't really care actually.." Axel slams the door open, "You walked in on naked Zexion again? Alright Audri!" laughing and closing the door behind him. I blushed and glared at him, "Shut up! One- he wasn't naked, he had a towel and two-!"

"You loved how sexy he looks topless!" "Yeah, and I love-" I glared at the spiky red head and punched him on the arm, "Will you shut up!" Axel laughs and sits on Roxas' bed, "Well, it looks like you have a crush on the smart shorty!" I blinked and sits on the carpet rolling my eyes sarcastically, "And I was raped by Xaldin 13 times.." Axel and Roxas blink and start laughing again. I sighed and fell back on the carpet, "You two were made for each other.." Axel and Roxas stop glaring at the short brunette, Zexion-crazed girl. "AND I'M NOT ZEXION-CRA-" Zexion appears in front of me (as i was shouting at myself who was screwing up this story as it goes along). I squeaked backing up and sighing, "What now? Going to ground me for not finishing my homework?" Zexion makes a portal under Axel and Roxas to the kitchen.

"No, more like ask why you keep coming to my room when I'm getting out of the shower..?" I just shruged, "Beats me!" Zexion glared at me and pulls me off the floor and drags me down the hallways. "Hey! Where are you taking me?" Zexion replies trying to hold back his smirk, "Xigbar's room. I'm hearing that he was supposed to 'punish' you?" I just started screaming and trying to pry away from him, "**NONONONO, PLEASE DON'T ZEXION!**" "Then tell me why you keep coming into my room then!" "IT'S BECAUSE SHE LOOOVES YOU!" Axel and Roxas pop out from nowhere laughing. Zexion blinks, "Are you serious, Audri? You know that we nobodies-"

"-Don't and will never get hearts. I heard this speech from Xemnas once and I'll be stuck with it for the rest of the time I'm with you guys! Sheese, one- axel and roxas were just kidding and two-" "Zexion drools when he watches you take a shower!" Axel chimes in grinning. Zexion glares at Axel and I just sweat dropped wondering how these guys make up these lies so quickly on the spot (It's called the **Black Book Filled With Lies For Nobodies**). I just muttered, "You two are morans.." Axel and Roxas laughed and run down the hallways into Demyx's room. Zexion sighed and looks back at me, "So you don't-" I rolled my eyes, "Nope, never will and kind of had.." "Kind of?" I blinked and sweatdropped, "Whoops, I said that out loud? My bad." rubbing my arm nervously, "Eh… BYE!" I jumped through a portal I made landing on my bed face-first. I muttered after closing the portal, "I'm screwed..!"

Zexion shruges sighing and walks off, "That was weird.."

Ok, I really don't know what happened that day but at least you got to meet my tutor. Hooray? Well, um.. anyways, I got my homework done and got a A- on my Greek Roots test, now that's a new record! And I didn't even study, I don't even want to know how I did that.. Other than that, I made Roxas sleep with Axel that night after he helped with Axel and embarrassing myself in front of Zexion like that… Who knows what goes through my head these days?

Well, **NOT ME~! THAT'S FOR SURE!** :D


	4. Psychos, Hammers, Kisses, FTW?

"Audri, open the window and let me in, before someone sees me!" Roxas pleas. I 'accidentally' kicked him out the window and now he's hanging onto the edge of the window - slightly holding on but barely. "Why sould I? You embarrassed me in front of Zexion!" I huffed and turns back glaring at a pair of gloves. Roxas kicks off the side of the castle, slamming into the window, which still didn't open up because I locked it from the inside. He ends back at square one. "So much for it opening up." Roxas mutters as he tries hanging for his life. I grinned and laugh, "Say sorry and I might open it back up." Roxas sighs and shouts, "FINE, I'M SORRY THAT I MADE FUN OF YOU IN FRONT OF ZEXION, ALRIGHT?" I grinned opening the window back up, "I forgive you now.. But how am I going to get Axel back for this?" Roxas jumps back in and sits down on the armchair, "Wish I could help but I'm still tired from hanging outside from **a foot of the window's EDGE!**"

I blinked and laugh slightly, "Sorry about that.. You know how easily I get mad, Roxy!" Roxas nodds and just sits there, yet annoyed of the nickname. I sigh and jumped onto my bunk bed, "I'm out of ideas since I only had one of pushing you guys out the window, even though you could of used a portal anytime, smartass.." Roxas blinks and laughs, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that!" I rolled my eyes and yawns, "You idiot!" Roxas yawns rolling his eyes, "So, what your plan then?" "How many times do you want me to say, **'I DON'T KNOW'?**" Roxas shruges, "If you're having so much trouble thinking of something, then go ask Zexion for help. He is 'The Cloaked Schemer' for a reason you know.." I sighed and frowned, "Good point. Fine, Maybe he can give me an idea or two for getting my revenge. Or use Zexion to help me anyways!" Roxas blinks confused, "How so?" "Eh, Axel is scared of Zexion for some strange reason that I can't remember." "Right, well.. GET TO IT THEN!" "Woah!" I fell through a portal that Roxas made under my feet. "Thank Kingdom Hearts she's gone.." Roxas mutters and went off playing my new DS.

"The answer is no." "What do you mean no?" "I mean what it means. No, Audri!" Zexion says while he was organizing his book shelf in his room. "But ZEXY-" "No but's! I already said no and why did you want me for anyways? So you can make a voodoo out of me?" "That's not 'til next week!" "That still doesn't help you know.." He glared down at me before I sighed and told him the truth, "I want revenge on Axel and I remembered of how scared Axel is of you after the trick he pulled on you!" Zexion glares back with an empty look in his eyes, "Fine. I'm only doing this for my own amusement." "But nobodies can't **FEEL**, remember?" "Amusement is something different." "No it isn't!" I piped up laughing while Zexion sighs and dragged me out of the room, "I get it, I get it!" I grinned with a twisted smile on my face, "Great! I know how we're going to do this plan too!" "You already had a planned yet you wanted me to come anyways?" "But you're the best part of this prank!" Zexion rolls his eyes, "You want the prank to reply as it did on the day when he gets scared of me?" "**YUP!**"

ok, yeah.. I got my revenge. Zexion was actually a compleate psychopath after a little exploding book from one of Axel's prank before. I found it funny since he ran off and asked Xaldin to be his bodyguard. Other than him being knocked out, we were able to act out the whole day. Zexion went off smirking (after I had to bribe him 2000 munny to have his favorite book explode (again) even though it came back together), Axel went off into his closet crying like a baby. HAH! Now **that was funny. **Um, yeah.. nothing much happened that day except Roxas complaining that he was locked outside the room again, so I had a whole room to myself for one night. I told him Axel's room is empty to go sleep for the night (but he didn't fall for it..).

"Wanna play a game with us?" Demyx, Axel and Roxas ask for the billionth time this morning. I just sat there and groaned, "Will you idiots stop bugging me for the rest of the week then?" "**YES!**" they all shouted. I growled and closed my laptop after telling my Aussie friend I had to go (yeah, and be annoyed by idiots!). I got up and sighed, "Alright, let me get dressed.." They grinned and shook their heads as they dragged me out of the room and down to the throne room. "Hey! I'm still in my pajamas!" I snapped trying to claw at the floor to get out of their grip. "Change later, let's play now!" Roxas laughed. Axel kicked the door open seeing everyone else there, which was surprising. I looked up at them confused, "What are we-" Demyx laughed and shouted running in circles, "Let's play let's play let's-!" Larxene growled and threw a kunai at him, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Demyx squeaked and sat down in his throne. Axel and Roxas roll their eyes teleporting to their thrones. I just sat there on the floor and yawned, "What are we doing now?" Demyx squeals, "SPIN THE BOTTLE!" I just stood there twitching and growled, "**YOU WOKE ME UP FOR THIS BLOODY GAME? I DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS GAME! I'M OUT OF HE-**" heading for the door while the door was frozen over by ice.

I stopped in my tracks and glared back at Vexen. Xemnas rolls his eyes and make a huge arena float in the middle of the room. I just groaned and teleported over and sits on Demyx's throne. I like to share with people's thrones randomly yet I try to avoid Marluxia any time possible. I yawned and made a 6-foot long hammer appear on the middle of the area. "Who spins first..?" I muttered not happy that I was brought out of my bed to play with these bozos. Well, then again... Seeing some guys kiss a girl is a very slim chance with only Larxene and myself there. I pulled a big grin on my face and I would get to see all the happy yaoi loving. Xemnas sighs, "Shall we spin in order?" They all murmured with each other and nodd. Xemnas then hits the hammer with the saber while it spun and spun in circles around the platform. The started slowing down while the tip of the handle pointed at… Hisself? Axel laughs, "Xemnas is unloved! He gets no one!" The others closed their eyes for a moment and sighed in relief. Xigbar shoots the hammer from his chair while it spun out of control. It soon stopped on Larxene.

"What?" Larxene growled glaring at Xigbar. Xigbar grinned and walked over to her upside down. Larxene sat where she was glaring at the pirate getting to her. He stops a few inches away and grins. He gives her a big smooch and ran through a portal before Larxene ripped him to shreds. I just sat there and yawned, "Can we go out of order now?" Xemnas rolls his eyes, "Fine, if it makes you shut up for once.." I smiled and laughed, "Ya-" "But you're next then.." Xemnas smirked. I stopped laughing and glared at him. Within a second, i just shrugged and smiled, "Ok then..!" I grabbed the hammer and threw it across the floor like a boomerang. It was spinning faster but started slowing down. Everyone looked at it and looked up at whom it was pointing at. They all laughed while I just turned red in the face and tried hiding behind Demyx seeing who I had to kiss was Marluxia. Marluxia smirked for a moment and made a portal under where I was hiding. I fell into his lap and sweatdropped nervously wanting to back away, "Now Marluxia, we don't have to do this..." "And I would say that you were asking for this, wouldn't you say so.." Marluxia muttered in my ear and tries smooching my. I almost fell off his throne and held onto him. Everyone laughed at how we were sitting on his chair now. I was sprawled across Marluxia's lap, trying to push him back while he tries holding himself up and trying to give me a smooch. "Bad Flower-Boy, bad!" I said as Marluxia smirks and pins me against the throne smothering me with kisses. He tried tried sticking his tongue down my throat but I lost control my temper and bit down hard on his tongue.

Marluxia pulled back at and growled her. I laughed sitting in his lap and sat there like nothing happened. Marluxia growled a little annoyed but grinned as he held me close to him while Xemnas rolled his eyes and the others were trying controlling their laughter. Axel jumped up throwing his chakaram at the hammer spin across the floor and ending up Vexen. "What the-?" Axel and Vexen yelled while the uproar of laughing came up again. Axel shuddered while Vexen glared at me thinking I made the hammer stop on him. I looked around confused while Marluxia glared daggers at Vexen that made him back off for a second. I shrugged it off and looked over at Axel that didn't look to happy to be kissing the ice fag. Axel shuddered teleporting over there and gave Vexen an air kiss which made it look like their lips still brushed against each other. Everyone started laughing again while Roxas seemed to have snapped and summoned his keyblades. He attacked Vexen, which had startled Axel in surprise and Vexen got a concussion from the surprise attack. Everyone bursts out laughing except for Xemnas, who had put his head in his hands wondering how it even came down to this.

Eventually when Roxas woke up from the tranquilizers we had to shoot at him from mauling Vexen to death, Roxas got stuck doing everyone's mission for 3 and a half weeks (why Xemnas didn't make it a whole month, I don't really care actually!). Vexen is now in the infirmary with a broken arm and blames me for the hammer landing on him. And Xemnas declared we could **NEVER** play that 'horrible' game again. Well, he didn't say we couldn't play with paintballs (which I later found in the Castle's attic. I know, I didn't know there was an attic too!), right? Well, looks like I found something better to do than being bossed around by Xemnas or anyone else in the Castle! :)


	5. Why we don't have computers

These were made in the consideration of being bored and none of these SNs exsist:3

I smiled and sat at my laptop as i signed into my AIM account, "I wonder if my buddy Ar-chan's on.." I muttered smiling. I haven't heard from him ever since he moved to another country over the summer. I was sad (and pissed since I didn't know that he moved away!) yet remembered his AIM account, thank god for my memory is worse than a monkey hit by a banana-shaped truck and getting amnesia is in great shape! I signed on and grinned seeing that he was online.

CsycoSquirrel: omg, hey Ar-chan!

MuffinKing: omfg, hey Audri! **STOP CALLING ME THAT!** Anyways, how's life?

CsycoSquirrel: it sucks, what else can I say?

_FlowerMaster entered chatroom_

'_who the hell?' _I thought to myself never seeing the screen name before.

FlowerMaster: Hi!

CsycoSquirrel: Um…

MuffinKing: Who the hell? Uh, I mean.. hi?

FlowerMaster: Hi! You guys are Audri And Aa-kun right?

CsycoSquirrel: ..Uh, who's asking?

FlowerMaster: Oh Audri, Didn't anyone tell you? Superior just got new computers! Isn't that great?

CsycoSquirrel: Wait, oh hell.. **you got to be kidding me..**

MuffinKing: What's with you, Audri? Do you even know this guy?

CsycoSquirrel: …twitches um, Aaron.. That's Marluxia..

MuffinKing: Oh..

FlowerMaster: Why do you sound disappointed Audri?

CsycoSquirrel: Marlux, please shut up while I try to think..

MuffinKing: ….

FlowerMaster: Take your time!

CsycoSquirrel: Um, hold on a second..

_CsycoSquirrel exited chatroom_

MuffinKing: So, you're Marluxia huh?

FlowerMaster: Yeah, what's the problem?

MuffinKing: oh, nothing..

_CsycoSquirrel enters chatroom_

_1Superior1 enters chatroom_

FlowerMaster: uh oh..

1Superior1: Number XI, stop harassing Audri and her friend!

FlowerMaster: But I wasn't harassing them-

_FlowerMaster exits chatroom_

1Superior1: Now, Audri.. Stop stealing my damn pillows and putting them on fire!

_1Superior1 exits chatroom_

MuffinKing: So, do I want to know?

CsycoSquirrel: Um.. well, I was telling the truth saying I live with Organization XIII.. but other than that, nothing else..

MuffinKing: yeah true, now.. Wait, **YOU LIVE WITH WHO NOW?**

_BigShot enters chatroom_

_Keyboy enters chatroom_

_Pryo'sSmexyness enters chatroom_

_ThunderWrench enter chatroom_

CsycoSquirrel: sighs Aaron, please excuse me my language..

MuffinKing: Um.. ok.

CsycoSquirrel: **WHY ARE YOU FUCKIN' MORANS EVEN IN HERE?**

BigShot: Duh.

ThunderWrench: We're bored! And we don't have any missions!

MuffinKing: Must I ask Audri?

Pyro'sSmexyness: I love my screen name!

CsycoSquirrel: Axel, just shut up. How come you're so quiet Roxy?

Keyboy: Stop calling me that! :( And because I'm trying to hide from Marluxia since I took the computer away from him.

CsycoSquirrel: So that explains why he got off..

Keyboy: Pretty much.. but we got so many laptops since Xemnas ordered them!

MuffinKing: (eats popcorn since left out of conversation)

CsycoSquirrel: well, I think I sould go now, Ar-chan.

MuffinKing: ok.. bye!

_CsycoSquirrel exited chatroom_

Keyboy: Um…

_BigShot exits chatroom_

_Keyboy exits chatroom_

_Pryo'sSmexyness exits chatroom_

_ThunderWrench exits chatroom_

MuffinKing: Ok… That was weird.

_MuffinKing exits chatroom_

Well, MAYBE unplugging the internet cable in the castle wasn't my best idea.. I got grounded because of the cable went for for the next week, and Axel, being the stupid one, called Larry the Cable Guy from the 'non-existent' cellphone (which doesn't have any cellular carrier attached to it surprisingly!) to come out and fix our stuff. When Larry got here, he started telling his jokes that he usually does, which pissed Xemnas off and had sent Larry the Cable Guy off to Oblivion (Or had stolen his heart for Kingdom Hearts, Xemnas wasn't really clear what he had done...)). Now Axel is not allowed to call on the cell phone anymore and everyone had all chat rooms blocked on their computer (**THANKS TO ME~!** :D).


	6. Babysat by the Order: PART I

Hey! Listen! *stabbed!*

Ok, maybe I didn't have to go as far as being a stupid annoying Navi-impostor, but it catches peoples attention sometimes (or drives them crazy... I'm sorry if that happened.)) I know I have NOT done anything new in the past... 2 or 3 years or so, and I am real sorry about that. Let's just say that I forgot what my password was and I had forgotten which email account I had used to sign in for here (and I could not stop myself from role-playing on other websites: my fault!)) So, to make it up to all of you... HERE'S ANOTHER RANDOM-ASS STORY~! ^^;

* * *

"I'm bored!" "Shut up."

"I'm bored." "Shut **UP**."

"I'm bo-" "If you say 'I'm bored' **ONE** more time, I'm going to send you to a portal that leads to the past and get the **DEADLY** Plague!" Xemnas growled holding his weapon to my neck, so irritated and pissed that I was annoying him. I frowned and sat down in the chair next to the door in his office.

Why today of all days did I decide to annoy Xemnas? It's because everyone in the Organization decided that they would each get a day off from my obnoxiousness. So, starting today, Xemnas was the first one to watch me while everyone else enjoyed their free-time from me. It has been 5 minutes since I've been in Xemnas' hands and I think he might explode if I did anymore damage. So I sat in his office, where he expected me to sit for the rest of the day, while he tried to concentrate on his work (not to mention the Soap Operas he secretly watches sometimes) and not hear a peep from me. It was an annoying time but of course Xemnas knew that I couldn't hold being quiet any longer.

I looked up at the ceiling tiles to start counting to keep myself occupied. I did this during school when I wasn't falling asleep during Spanish class. I counted up to 6,580 tiles (I added horizontally, then vertically, and just multiplied the numbers to get the area covered by tiles) and eventually saw that the kitten clock hanging in Xemnas' office (which was a gift by me from Christmas!) Then time said that only 10 minutes had passed. I groaned glancing to see that Xemnas was glaring at me before glancing down at his work. "Can I draw something Xemnas?" I asked as he put his fist on his desk snapping at me, "SHUT THE **HELL** UP, YOU INFERIOR MIDGIT!" "I'm not a freaking midget!" I barked standing up from my chair as he glared at me from across the room. He closed his eyes and slowly counted to 10 to himself before he opened his eyes and glared down at me, "Fine. You can draw if you want. Just go get some supplies from Naminé's room and come back here. Understood?"

I nodded and smiled as I got down from my chair and left his office closing the door behind me quietly. As I stepped into the hallway, a simple thought jumped into my head. Where the **FUCK** was her room and how was I going to find it? I thought about going back inside and asking Xemnas, but knowing that Xemnas was probably playing a game of darts with a picture of my face as the target, I rather not give him the chance of using my own face as another target for him to hit. I sighed as I snapped my fingers knowing the one person who could help me: Marluxia.

"Hey Marluxia~!" I called as I ran one of the Graceful Assassin's garden, which was containing the most deadliest but most beautiful flowers that have ever grown to existence. Why I chose to come here first, who knows - deadly intentions? Also the fact that I heard singing coming from here also tipped me off. "Marluxia... Where are you?" I called out as I looked at the growling man-eating plant looking at me, licking its leafy lips. I glanced to the side of me to see a pile of raw steaks. I grabbed one of the steaks and tossed it to the hungry plant before I continued my search. I heard the singing again that was at a small tune, until the singing turned into a shrill cry. I put my hands over my hands as I saw a nearby tree fall over and wither away. "O.O Oh dear." I said to myself as I glanced up to see Marluxia glaring down at me holding a plant in a flower pot, standing in front of me. I hopped back and looked from him to the plant, back up to him before I asked, "Planting a new delicacy?" He nodded before looking down at me scowling, "Isn't Xemnas supposed to be watching you?"

"I need directions to Naminé's room since I want to draw. Xemnas got mad and told me to take stuff from her room." I explained as he shook his head and opening a portal with his free hand, "She had a room in the Haunted Mansion in Twilight Town. Use a portal to get back to Xemnas as quick as possible." I jumped through the portal to come across the White Room seeing all the drawings and materials lying around. I grabbed a few pieces of paper, some crayons, and a pencil before making a portal beneath me (because I couldn't make one with my hands... Duh) and sunk through. I found myself in Xemnas' office seeing that he was talking with Saix that was there about something important (or about the blogging domain he was trying to get to proclaim about Kingdom Hearts, Nobodies wanting hearts, etc. etc.) I went over to my chair and put my stuff down about to draw when Xemnas snapped at me, "Where the HELL have you been?" I almost fell off the chair before I glared back at him, "I went to Naminé's room to get some stuff to draw. **WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?**"

Saix looked at me shaking his head while Xemnas barked at me, "What are you talking about? I meant for you to leave so you can go and make me a sandwich!" I just stood there twitching before i got up from the chair and walked towards his desk. "You know what Xemnas? I give up." I said as i slammed my hands on his desk making a few papers shift around as he and Saix glared at me. "Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" Xemnas sneered looking at me as I clawed my fingernails into his desk before grinning. "The one thing I should of done when I first sat in here," I said as I dug my fingernails into the desk and shifted the weight in my arms to lift up the desk, "**DESTROYED THIS STUPID OFFICE~!**" Xenmas jumped back a little as I threw the desk at him. Before the desk hit anything, Saix caught the desk and placed it on the ground. I stood there backing up before Xemnas threw something to Saix, making the blue-haired elf glare down at me as he stalked closer to me. "Wait, is that a... wait, I will be good... I swear!" I said backing up seeing what Saix had in his grasp as he walked towards me.

"You had a chance to be good, but you lost it just as well." Xemnas said as Saix tackled me to the ground and put the strait jacket on me that Xemnas had given him. "Well, this sucks." I growled flailing around on the floor like a flopping fish while Xemnas pushed his desk back to its original spot and pulled his chair behind him to sit down. "Saix, I can't handle the little psychopath anymore. Can you bring her to Xigbar and have him watch her for the rest of today. Tell him that I will give him two days off free from missions and such if he does accept." Xemnas said to his blue-haired (kiss-up!) sub-superior as he glanced down at me for a second. Saix nodded as he picked me up from the back of the strait jacket with the claymore he summoned and opened up a portal. He walked through while handing the claymore I was hanging from like I was an infected animal on a stick.

* * *

What adventure holds for me as Saix drags me off to be baby-sitted by Xigbar for the rest of the day (and it's only 9:00 in the morning!) Stay tuned! :)


	7. Babysat by the Order: PART II

"Hey Saix! What's up dude?" Xigbar greeted the Beserker while the blue-haired elf just glared down at the eye-patched surfer. He swung his claymore in front of the Gunner to let him see that I was hanging off of it, in a strait jacket. "Xemnas' orders that you are taking care of the little demon for the rest of the day." Saix explained as he tilted the claymore, that made me fall on the floor and squirm around the floor trying to escape the strait jacket. "Wait, I thought it was Xemnas' day to take care of the little psycho!" Xigbar whined as I managed to sit up and glare at the two of them. Saix just glared down at me before he used the tip of his claymore to poke me and push me back onto the floor.

"Gah, damn it!" I growled as I squirmed around the floor again while Xigbar shook his head about to reject Xemnas' responsibilities to baby-sit me. "If you take Xemnas' chore, you get 2 mission-free days off and Xemnas will give you a raise." Saix said as Xigbar stopped himself before changing his mind. "Throw in 500 munny and you got yourself a deal!" Xigbar grinned as Saix nodded, "I'll get back to Xemnas on your word. Enjoy having her for the rest of the day." "Thanks dude!" Xigbar grinned waving Saix off as the blue-haired Beserker went back through the portal and left. The eye-patched surfer looked down at me smiling as I glared at him, "Lay **ONE** finger on me and I will cut your body up into **TINY** pieces!" "Relax girlie! I'm not here to be a creeper today." Xigbar smiled as he grabbed out one of his pistols and shot my strait jacket to pieces. I just lied on the floor trmatized as he looked down at me curiously, "Are you still alive Audri?"

"Peachy Xigbar. Just peachy..." I said as i pulled a bullet that was in my shoulder and got up from the floor. "Sorry, so ready to go have some fun today?" Xigbar grinned while I just stood there confused. "And by fun, you mean something that doesn't involve you weird, twisted... well, y'know." I said trying to not think of the weird things that Xigbar does for his hobbies. "Yes! We're going to go on a field trip today!" Xigbar grinned as I stood there cheering, "Really? That's great! Where are we going Xiggy?" Xigbar just shook his head trying to not laugh as he opened up a portal and smiled pushing me through.

"Welcome to Land of Dragons! ... Sort of!" Xigbar said as we stood on top of the snowy mountain looking over the rest of China. "You could of told me to change before we came here!" I snapped wrapping my arms around my body and my teeth chattering from the cold since I was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts (usually I wear pants but it's the summer time baby! Of course you're going to die from heat when you are sitting around a Castle in pants! Mostly when Axel broke the air conditioner. **THANKS A LOT DOUCHE BAG!**) "Sorry, I thought that we needed to get out of the summer heat back at the Castle!" He grinned as I stood there shivering. "I used to live in a city next to the sea surrounded by fog. You'd think that I would soon be able to stand the cold," I mutter while I looked up to see a snowball hit me in the face, sending me flying back. I fell back into the snow and shot up crying, "**THE SNOW IS SO FUCKING COLD!**" I shook the snow form my face seeing Xigbar was pointing towards me and laughing. I growled as I got up and started chucking snowballs in random directions.

I got tired some time later and stopped throwing the snowballs seeing that not even ONE snowball hit Xigbar. He just stood there and grinned as he held a snowball in his hands. "Oh sonofa-" I was cut off as Xigbar pelted me with another snowball and laughed. I snapped by this point and chased him around screaming, "**GET BACK HERE!**" "You can't catch me!" Xigbar laughed as he teleported and was floating in the air with his pistols out, which transformed into a custom snowball cannon. "Oh...I'm in trouble, aren't I?" I said slowly backing up while Xigbar started loading snow into the cannon grinning, "Oh, yeah!" I looked down at the ground running around screaming. Xigbar just laughed as he started shooting snowballs at me while I ran around the mountain screaming.

Hours later, we sat on the cold, snowy mountain top around a small bonfire. I started crying while Xigbar was taking a nap. "Xiggy, I want to go home now. It's cold and my clothes are soaking wet!" I whined while he just opened his eye to glance at me snickering, "We'll leave after I take a nap. Besides, not like you're going to catch a cold. You're next to a fire, warming up. Don't be so damn ungrateful Audri! I did my best to raise you right!" "But you aren't my daddy," I said while he just closed his eyes and gesturing his hand like he is shooing me off, "Shut up and eat those damn dumplings I stole for your dinner." I looked at the bowl of dumplings and poked at them seeing that they were all cold. "Xiggy, the food is all cold now." I whined as Xigbar growled and threw some snow at me, "Go get a stick and roast the dumplings over the fire you stupid midget."

I felt my fingers twitch as I got up to my feet and kicked Xigbar in the side, "**I'M NOT A FUCKING ****MIDGET!**" "Oy! Stop it Audri! Cut it out!" Xigbar said as he grabbed my ankle and shoved me back. I fell back in the snow and sat up glaring at him. He just laughed before he turned away from me and went back to taking a nap. I rolled my eyes going off the mountain to go find some sticks to roast my dinner. I looked around and found a couple of sticks lying around by the mountain side. I picked one up and was about to head back up the mountain but a few Rapid Thrusters were in my path. "Nice H-heartless... Get out of the way Heartless..." I smiled swinging the stick around in the air for a little bit before one of the Rapid Thrusters snapped my stick in half by biting it. "Ok, now I think I should take my leave... NOW!" I squeaked running past the heartless and up the mountain.

"XIGGY! HELP MEEEEE!" I shouted seeing Xigbar bolt up and shoot a couple of bullets my way. I ducked and looked over to see the Rapid Thrusters fell in the snow to a thud. "Thank you Xiggy." I sighed while Xigbar came towards me and snatched the stick from my hands. "What are yo-" I was cut off when Xigbar whacked me on the head with the stick. "OW! What gives?" I said before Xigbar hit me a few more times on the head, "STUPID MIDGET!" I fell back in the snow and started to cry while Xigbar made a portal dragging me through, "Ok, time for you to go to bed now!" "Awww, but I was having fun!" I whined as we disappeared through the portal.

When we got home and I was going to bed, I came down with a cold. DAMN IT XIGBAR! .

* * *

Now with me catching a cold and Xaldin having to watch me tomorrow, will I survive my 3-course meal with Xaldin? (This would be funnier if you read the next chapter after it was posted...)


	8. Babysat by the Order: PART III

"All right Audri, get your ass out here so I can baby-sit you." Xaldin barked knocking on my bedroom door. I opened the door slowly and stood there curled up in my blankets. "Can't I just stay in bed today and sleep? I got a cold when I was with Xigbar yesterday." I groaned while Xaldin just glared down at me before sighing. "Well, I would say you can but if anyone finds out, I will probably have to watch you for the next month, and I **REALLY** don't want to do that." The Lancer growled as he grabbed my blankets and dragged me to the kitchen.

The kitchen is usually the one place that everyone in the Organization knows to keep out of because of two things:

1) Xaldin is the cook of the Organization XIII (and the best one at that),

2) he has sharp lances and knives in the kitchen that could stab through anything (So it's better to starve than being stabbed to death.)

Of course the first thing that happens when I get to the kitchen, Xaldin pulls me over to the kitchen table and sits me down in one of the chairs. "Stay here, I'll get you some damn food since I know that Xigbar starved you last night." Xaldin growled as he went off to the fridge and had a few things set up on the counter. Pots, a few pans, and some vegetables were laying out on the counter while Xaldin pulled out a lump of shredded chicken from the fridge and set it on the counter. I just groaned before laying my head down on the table while I was wrapped up like a cocoon in my blankets.

I eventually woke up from accidentally falling asleep when I started to smell something cooking. Potatoes, carrots, celery, and other various vegetables smells were swirling around my head as I sat up and glanced back to see Xaldin was making some soup on the stove in a pot. "What are you making?" I finally asked while the Lancer was cutting up some of the chicken, that he just took out from the oven. "Chicken soup. I know that the weather has been horrible these last few days with it being very hot and all, but with today being a slightly cool day, I thought that people would like something simple." He explained while I sat there raising my eyebrow at him. "Is the real reason is that I'm sick so you're feeding it to me but you used the chicken that was going to be used for tonight's dinner and you don't want to go to the store later?" I asked while he just glared at me while shredding the chicken into the pot of soup.

"Shut up and just wait for the damn soup." He growled at me while he went to the fridge to get something to drink. I just sighed and pulled my arms free from my blanket restraint and started to pull the blanket apart so I can free my legs. I was staring to get a little over heated while Xaldin seasoned the soup a little more and got a bowl out for me. I finished folding my blankets away before Xaldin came over to me with the bowl of soup and a glass of water setting it down in front of me. "Thanks Xaldin." I said trying to not be so cheery since the large Nobody is quite strict and scary sometimes. He just nodded with a cocky smile on his face as he went back to his stove to make sure that the soup wasn't burning.

I turned my attention back to the soup and started eating it. It tasted delicious and hot, like most soups are supposed to be! I ate the rest of the chicken soup while Xaldin was cutting up some leftover cheesecake from last week's dinner and eating some of it. "Xaldin, I don't think that any of that is any good." I said getting up to put my bowl away in the dishwasher. "Why shouldn't I? If you think that you are getting this cheesecake, you know that you can't have sugar without getting high or sugar drunk off if it." He glared at me taking another bite out of it. "Do you know how old that thing is?" I asked while he just shrugged and ate some more, "Your point being?" "I think that there was some mold on that last piece you just ate." I pointed to the last piece of cheesecake on the plate that was **ENTIRELY** green and had some patches of fuzzy stuff growing on the top of it.

Xaldin looked at the last piece of cheesecake and then at his fork seeing some green stuff hanging off of it. He looked down at me before turning a little green in the face, "I don't feel so good." "I told you to not eat the cheesecake," I said while Xaldin glared at me before he left the kitchen for a second and came back with a bottle of medicine. "This will help, I hope." He said while I went back to the table to grab my blankets smiling. "Hopefully it will help." I snickered while he just glared at me before chugging the medicine down. "Maybe you should sit down Xaldin." I said looking back at him as he got some water for himself before sitting down at the table.

"So, what stupidity did you place on Xemnas and Xigbar when they baby-sat you?" Xaldin asked as I got up to munch on a plate of saltine crackers. "Well, I destroyed Xemnas' office again, which made Saix tie me up in a strait jacket." I started with my hours with Xemnas before Xaldin sweatdropped, "So, what is it then... Your 26th time in a strait jacket this week?" "Not the point, and I went to Land of Dragons with Xigbar and froze to death. That's also the reason why I got a cold - Xigbar didn't let me change into warmer clothes." I explained sighing a little bit while Xaldin shook his head like it was my fault that I got sick in the first place.

"So, do you have any plans to ruin my life today or is being sick going to stop you?" Xaldin said with a smug smirk on his face while I just glared at him, "Shut up, and you shouldn't be talking, Captain Fungus!" "Unless you want to be roasted on a spit and we eat you for dinner, you might as well shut your trap." Xaldin growled slamming a knife onto the table next to my hand. I pulled it back and sighed sitting there while Xaldin looked over to the oven seeing the stove was turned off. "So, what are you going to do now, Monkey boy? Mope around with an upset stomach or go & sit in the bathroom to puke your guts out?" I said with a smile on my face while Xaldin glared down at me, "What are you talking about, you inferior midget?"

"Why is everyone calling me a midget? People will find that a racist comment one day!" I snapped while Xaldin shrugged sipping his water, "I don't know, but I do **NOT** look like a monkey at all!" "Then again, you have a face that only a mother would love!" I giggled while Xaldin grabbed the knife from the table and attempted to throw at me. I just ducked and sat there smiling eating the rest of the saltines on my plate.

"Only a few more hours until I'm done with done... PLEASE let me get through that..." Xaldin muttered putting his head on the table while I patted his shoulder smiling, "Perhaps we can make some sort of deal." "I'm listening Audri." Xaldin said glancing at me while I sat there smiling. "Make me sugary sweets for the next month and I will not bother you the rest of the day." I explained while he sat there for a moment looking at me. "Toss in a bunch of fresh bananas and you got yourself a deal." Xaldin smiled faintly while I looked at him blankly. I nodded before a big grin appeared on my face, "You **ARE** such a **MONKEY**." Xaldin seem to glare at me before I put the rest of my dishes away and sat back in the chair. "Right, now let me get back to my cooking for dinner!" Xaldin snapped at me as he got up from his chair and went to the fridge.

I just smirked sitting there trying not to laugh while I heard the kitchen door open and Axel shouting, "XALDIN! LET ME HAVE SOME FO-" I heard someone cursing and the swinging of the kitchen door being stabbed by something... pointy? I looked back to see the lances were stuck in the swinging door and Xaldin having a pretty pissed look on his face. Now I knew for **SURE** by this point: If I wanted all of my fingers by dinner time, I should not bug Xaldin anymore by this point.

* * *

Ok, so this wasn't as much of a funny plot as I wanted it to be involving more people getting food poisoning. Oh well! Next time is a trip to Vexen's lab! :)


	9. Babysat by the Order: PART IV

"Oh Audri. What the hell brings you hear on this day when I didn't want to be disturbed?" Vexen said glancing down at me with his icy cold (duh?) glare as I stood there in the doorway of the Chilly scientist's lab. "Today is your day to baby-sit me. Didn't Xemnas give you the memo?" I asked while the Nobody looked up for a second before hitting his head on the door frame for a second. He stopped hitting himself for a second before glaring down at me, "He did not notify me that I was supposed to let you know. Wasn't Xaldin supposed to drop you off?"

"Yeah, about that. I'm supposed to go give Xaldin some elixir for him. Superior said that you are supposed to make for him since he got food poisoning from some bad cheesecake he ate yesterday." I said while the scientist rolled his eyes before letting me into his lab. It was a bit dirty, not for the fact that there was a small explosion and a miniature fire going on in some freaky chemical reaction on one of the test tables. "Looks like you need some help cleaning this place up Vex. Need me to help out?" I asked glancing back at him as he closed the door to his lab and walked past me. "If you can handle not messing up any of my other experiments for **ONCE**, then I will gladly accept your help," Vexen sneered slightly while he grabbed a mop from his little supply closet.

"You can start with the mess in the corner." He pointed to the corner closer to some broken machine with sparking wires all over the place and a puddle of water where the said wires were dipped into. I looked from the corner to Vexen with a look of disbelief on my face, "You really expect for **ME** to go clean up that corner **WITHOUT** being electricuted by the puddle of **DOOM**? Can I at least get some rubber boots or gloves to put on at the least?" "Tch. I dont understand why we keep you around if all you do is complain. By the way, why are you still living here Audri? Didn't you find a better home?" Vexen asked out of the blue while he looked through his drawers and pulled out a pair of rubber gloves for me. He tossed them over to me while I looked at him with a sheepish grin on my face, "About that... Let's just say that some things had happened so I got kicked out of... Sort of."

"And by 'kicked out' you mean that you blew the place down to the ground?" Vexen restated while I pulled the gloves on and gave him a thumbs up with one hand, "And by 'blew the place down' you mean that I blew the place up!" Vexen just looked at me before giving bringing his hand to his forehead. "**WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN, YOU PSYCHOTIC CHILD?**" He barked while I had jumped because I was scared from Vexen frightening me and I almost fell into the electric surging puddle. I looked back at him before putting the mop into the water spill and flashed off a goofy grin, "Face it Vexen. You guys love having me around, better than Rauxdi, that's for sure!" Vexen seem to cringe at Rauxdi's name before shaking his head and returning back to the miniature fire that is spreading to his other experiments on the table.

"What ever happened to that pathetic excuse of a nobody go?" Vexen sneered while I had my back to him while I mopped up the puddle in the corner. "Well, after we banished her to Oblivion (Not the Castle Oblision. **THIS** Oblivion is just an empty void of space that holds pretty much nothing), I found a way to make sure that she wouldn't escape until I figured out how to erase her from existence." I glanced back at him while I finished up my mopping up and went over to the supply closet to pull out a bucket. "And how is that working for you then?" Vexen asked as he pointed his finger out to the fire and blew it out. I looked at him before laughing, "I forgot and didn't bother!"

"You really are an inferior mid-" Vexen was cut off when I smacked him over the head with the mop. "What the fuck was **THAT** for?" He barked while I held the (broken in half) mop in my hand. "You were going to call me a midget... What was I supposed to do?" I said while tossing the broken mop into the bucket and back into the supply closet. "Oh, I have an idea: **DON'T BREAK MOPS OVER PEOPLE'S HEADS!**" Vexen growled grabbing the collar of my shirt before pushing me back against the table. "Stupid scientist, can't even tell when his hair is on fire..." I growled while Vexen got a sponge from the closet with another bucket filled with soap & water, shoving both objects into my hands, "Just clean the rest of the mess and leave me at peace." "I can do that!" I said grinning while Vexen glared down at me before I sweatdropped, "Okay... Maybe not quietly, but I can still clean!"

"Fine. Just hurry up so you can go play with the old batteries that I need you to extract the acids into different containers." Vexen sneered as he went to his experiment (the one that caught fire) and threw it into the freezer he had in the lab. Wait... Freezer?

"Um, before I start cleaning... **WHY THE HELL IS THERE A FREEZER DOWN HERE?**" I snapped pointing to the freezer before Vexen glanced at me shrugging, "I have no damn idea. That bloody freezer has been here since we moved here. So this might of probably been a meat locker at some point. ...Or a slaughterhouse." "That's just... Ugh, nevermind me then." I said shaking my head and sponging the walls with soapy water trying to get off the blue ooze that was sliding off the walls. "Hey Vexen?" I said while Vexen just glared at me from the other side of the room, "What do you want now?" "A question about this stuff... What the hell were you trying to do this time?" I said glaring back at me while he sighed going into the freezer and pulling out a cardboard box.

"I was trying to make some artificial hearts and see if kingdom hearts could be able to fill the hearts up with emotions." Vexen explained as he pulled out a notebook covered in more blue goo. "You do know that emotions don't come from the heart... Right?" I asked while I turned my attention back to the blue goo on the walls. He looked at me for a second before throwing a book at my head, "**GET BACK TO WORK YOU STUPID MIDGET!**" "**I'M NOT A FREAKING MIDGET! **I would say that 5' 2" is not considered **SHORT** for my age!" I whined hitting my head on the blue goo a couple of times before Vexen looked at me in shock. "What?" I said looking at him before he wiped the blue goo from my face and just started to chuckle. "What's so funny?" I asked pointing my blue finger at him - wait... BLUE?

"What the hell did you do?" I snapped at the scientists while he just rolled the blue goo in his gloved hand still laughing, "Nothing! I'm serious! It's just so damn funny that you turned completely blue!" "**HOW COULD YOU? WHAT WERE YOU REALLY DOING WITH THIS... STUFF!**" I whined pointing to the blue mess on the walls as he looked at the blue goo in his hands and... ate it? "I was trying to make the perfect blueberry pie, I could care less about hearts at the moment since I haven't eaten for the last month. But since Xaldin doesn't let anyone into the kitchen, I decided to make a blueberry pie... **WITH SCIENCE!**" "So, why is my hand blue then?" I said pointing to my blue hand while he just shook his head, "The blueberry sauce can leak through anything, even the sponge that you were using." He pointed to the bright blue sponge that was held in my other hand.

"Huh, imagine that." I said before looking at the wall and grinned. "What are you - **DON'T EAT OFF OF THE WALLS!**" Vexen snapped as I took my tongue and started licking the blueberry sauce off. I looked at him before shrugging, "Shut up and get some toast for me to eat this with if you're going to yell at me." Vexen looked like he was going to flip a cow, but instead, he left for a couple of minutes and came back with a loaf of bread and peanut butter, "At least share the sauce Audri, you stupid fat cow." "Stop insulting me, you stupid hermit!" I snapped while taking the sponge and throwing it back into the soapy bucket water and snatched the bread from Vexen.

While we made our sandwiches, a thought occurred to me before I looked at Vexen. "Did you ever make Xaldin's medicine for him?" "...I'll get the medicine to him by Thursday." He commented before taking a bite into his sandwich.

* * *

What will happen between Vexen & Xaldin on Thursday when Xaldin takes his medicine? Will I have a rockin' time with Lexaeus? (I have no fucking clue by this point... Except for the Thursday thing XD)


	10. Babysat by the Order: PART V

"Lexaeus, I'm bored."

"I don't care."

"But I'm bored. Shouldn't that concern you?"

"As long as you don't do anything that will get you or me in trouble, then I'm good." The strong, Silent Hero said in a mutter while we both walked down the Twilight's View. Lexaeus did not trust me in any way possible to not destroy his room, so he decided that a walk around the Castle would tire me out. Unfortunately, it just made me more bored and embarrassed that he was walking me around on one of those baby leashes. Yes, the baby leashes that have a backpack with a stuff frog or dog attached to it. This one was in the shape of an shadow heartless, and it was alive which made walking around a little interesting.

"Lexaeus, the shadow is trying to eat my head." I whined while he dragged me on the leash down the stairs. "Can't you NOT complain for ONE day?" He sighed glaring back at me while I was being dragged around on my back. I looked at him before laughing, "Only if we had some duct tape, then I would be silent for a little while." He just glared at me before he pulled the leash again, making me fall back and hit my head on the staircase. "Duuude, uncalled for..." I groaned while he dragged me the rest of the time with no complaints out of me (also because I got a concussion).

"What are we doing out here?" I asked Lexaeus as I jumped onto a couch in the Grey Area while Lexaeus tugged on my leash, making me fall off of the couch and hit the floor. "Can you behave for at least a minute?" He said a little annoyed while I sat down on the couch in a proper manner before smiling at the Silent Hero, "I'll be good. Can I have a box of crayons?" He looked at me for a moment before making a portal and pulling out a small box of crayons and papers shoving them into my hands, "Entertain yourself with these. Don't wake me up unless you burn the Castle down." With that said, he turned to his side and slept on the couch.

I looked at the box of crayons in my hands before grinning evilly knowing what I was going to do now.

* * *

"**NUMBER V! WAKE UP THIS INSTANT!**" Xemnas snapped throwing a book at the sleeping Nobody's head making him wake up. "What happened no- **HOLY SHIT!**" He said looking up to see the walls were covered in drawings made by crayons. "**WHO IS RESPONSABLE FOR THIS?**" Xemnas snapped at the Nobody sitting on the couch before he looked around and felt a shock go down his spine. "Oh noo..." Lexaeus said as he peeked behind the couch before looking at Xemnas, "Sir, have you seen Audri anywhere?"

"Why? Does she have to do with this mess? Who's supposed to be watching her today?" He said before Lexaeus looked around before sighing a little waving his hand up, "I was supposed to be watching her." "Wait, if you're here **SLEEPING ON THE JOB**... **OH GOD!**" Xemnas groaned doing a face palm his forehead before glaring down at Lexaeus, "Where could she have gone?" "Beats me. You got any bright ideas?" He said before Xemnas thought for a moment before snapping his fingers, "I have one idea where she might be..."

* * *

"**WHAT THE HELL**..." Saix started to say as he looked in his room seeing that Audri was drawing on the walls. He was just coming out from the bathroom after taking a shower since he was soaked in blood and heartless essence. He walked over to where Audri was drawing and growled a little, scaring her a little and making her look back at him. "Oh... H-hello Saix." I squeaked out as he grabbed the front of my shirt and slammed me back into the wall. "Must I ask **WHY** you are coloring on my walls?" He snarled a little while I just dropped the crayons on the floor and laughing nervously, "Well... Lexaeus gave me a box of crayons to play with while he took a nap. I drew pictures on all of the paper and I was bored. So, i drew all over the walls in the Grey Area and I was bored again."

Saix glared at me before he shook his head, "What am I going to do with you..." "Let me go and clean up your walls by yourself?" I said smiling at him before he smiled evilly and pinned my arms to the wall above my head, "Or I can make something interesting for the both of us..." "Wait... What do you mean by that?" I said blushing a little before he grabbed ahold of my chin looking down at me with a small smirk on his lips, "Oh, you will see..."

* * *

"Saix? Are you in?" Xemnas asked as he knocked on the outside of the Berserker's bedroom door. "What makes you think that Audri would be in here?" Lexaeus asked as he stood by his Superior's side as the wait for someone to answer the door. "Knowing how Audri is around Saix sometimes, she rather push his buttons than mine." He explained as they soon heard crying inside Saix's room. They both looked at each other for a moment before putting their ears against the walls to listen to what was happening on the inside.

"Saix, you know that you don't have to do this." They heard Audri's voice on the other side of the door.

"I know, but this is **PAYMENT** for you destroying my walls." The Berserker growled before there was a 'slapping' noise on the other side.

"Knock it off, that hurts Saix..." Audri whimpered on the other side as there was some 'thump' noises as well.

"Oh shut up you stupid girl. This will be over with if you stop complaining. Maybe you'd even enjoy this alot mor-!"

"Enjoy this? How can I enjoy something that's hurting me?" Audri barked before there was another thumping noise.

"Hey, not like I enjoy doing this... I **LOVE** the fact that I'm doing this to **YOU**." Saix said in a taunting tone while they heard Audri crying about something.

"Saix? Can I say something?" Audri said after a moment of silence. They heard Saix groan on the other side before answering, "What the **FUCK** do you want?"

"Well, not to be rude but um... Don't you think that this is a bit **TOO** big for me?" Audri said in a stuttering tone making the two Nobodies listening on the other side thinking... dirty thoughts.

"Audri, just deal with it. I can't make this stupid thing any **SMALLER** if you ask." Saix growled as there was another thumping noise against the walls on the other side.

"Saix, stop it! This hurts too much!" Audri whined a little before Xemnas and Lexaeus got up from their positions and slammed the door open with bloody noses, "**WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING IN HERE?**"

Audri and Saix both looked at the two entering Nobodies in a questioning away. Audri was tied on the end of Saix's claymore, drentched in water and soap. Saix was holding the claymore on the ground looking a little tired and annoyed from Audri's constant bitching. "What are **YOU** two doing?" Audri said as he coughed up a few soap bubbles before Xemnas and Lexaeus looked at each other before looking at them, "Um, checking on Audri to make sure that she wasn't doing anything stupid to piss Saix off?"

"Well, you missed that much earlier Superior. Since Audri won't clean the walls off, I decided that she **WILL** clean the walls. Even if I had to tie her down to my claymore & scrub her body against the wall to rub off the crayon drawings." Saix said as he pointed to the blue smudges on the walls. Audri tried to move her arms out from her binds as she glanced at the two Nobodies curiously, "What did you guys **THINK** we were doing?" Xemnas and Lexaeus looked at each other for a moment before they put their sleeves to their bleeding noses, "Don't ask."

* * *

XD Saix & Lexaeus are embarressed since they thought that there was an AudriXSaix innuendo going on! X3 Will Audri be able to make Zexion a happier person or will she become just another Emo Kid?

Tune in for the next chapter! ^^;


	11. Babysat by the Order: PART VI

"Good morning Zexion." I said as I stood outside of number VI's room looking into Zexion's eyes.

". . . Damnit." He just stood there for a moment in his purple teddy bear boxers looking at me.

"Ready to help me do my Summer Homework?" I asked smiling at him before he closed his eyes for a second & opened them to look directly at me (Let's just say that I'm around his height, maybe a little shorter)).

"Just come in & **DON'T** touch anything." He muttered to me as he slid back into his room while I stepped inside the dimly-lit room. I closed the door behind me while Zexion went over to his closet & pulled out a coat. "Wow, isn't this a little **TOO** emo for your tastes Zexion?" I said as I looked around his room seeing he had a few things hanging off the walls. Posters of Indie bands & many others I didn't seem to reconize were scattered all over the walls, some all over the ceiling. "Who asked you?" Zexion scoffed a little pulling the zipper up and dusting the coat off. I shook my head a little nerve-wracked before I caught my eye on Zexion's bed. Lying on top of the covers was his Lexicon, the most bizarre (not to mention ridiculous, aside from Luxord's cards) weapon in the entire Order. I glanced over my shoulder for a second to see Zexion was fixing up his hair in the mirror, paying no attention to me at all.

I started to walk towards Zexion's bed since I was so curious about Lexicon that I wanted to know what it did. I glanced behind my shoulder again to see that Zexion was nowhere in sight & that there was a light coming from under the bathroom door. I turned back around and started to reach my hand for the Lexicon but felt my wrist get snatched back by a gloved hand. "Oh damn it." I said before I was spun around to come face to face with Zexion. "What are you doing? I told you not to touch anything remember?" He said with a small hint of irritation coming from his voice. "Have you **MET** me Zexy? You know I hate being ordered around." I said trying to be calm as possible while a grin spread across my face. He just sighed for a moment before a small smirk appeared of his lips as he let go of my wrist. "All right Audri. You do whatever you want, as long as I don't get involved in it." He said in a calm manner as he took a step back from me.

I looked at him curiously before turning back around to see that Lexicon was open on the bed to a picture. Curious, I took a step forward to see what the picture was & felt a pain in the back of my head before falling forward unconcious. Zexion stood a few feet away from me with another book in his hand smirking, "That's for not listening to me. For now though, let's just see how you'll face off what I have in store for you.."

* * *

"Ugh, my head..." I groaned as I twitched my hand to feel that I was lying face down on something soft. I open my eyes and sat up slowly to see that I was on a bed. I looked around to see that the room looked like Zexion's room, but a bit messier. "Zexion? Are you around?" I said as I shifted my position so I was sitting in bed now. I didn't hear any foot steps or have the sense that someone was around, but I did feel like I was being watched. "Is anyone there?" I said again as I slid off the bed and kicked a pile of clothes over. The door slammed over and I screamed as I saw Zexion was standing there with **ONLY** a pink, frilly apron stood there with oven mitts on his hands. He also had a big PINK bow tied around his front bangs (but you could still never see his other eye)).

"What's wrong my love~? Are you hurt~?" He said running over to me patting my cheeks with his oven mitts. I just stared at him for a moment before jumping back onto the bed with a pillow in my hands, "**WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHERE'S EMO ZEXION?**" He just looked at me for a second before giggling in a girly way before throwing himself at my feet and wrapping his arms around my leg, "**I'M ZEXION OF COURSE~! MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A MAN AUDRI~!**" I just looked at him with a blank stare for a moment before taking my other foot and stepping on his head, "**GET AWAY FROM ME!**"

* * *

Zexion chuckled a little as he looked at the picture inside of his Lexicon where he trapped Audri. "This will freak her out and make her never touch my stuff again." He smirked as he saw the "Pretty-in-Pink" Zexion force Audri to make him cookies and sweets for him. "Although this is pretty sickening on my behalf," Zexion shuddered as the pink drawing was running around like a lunatic & driving Audri to beat him with a pair of pants inside of the dimensional room he stuck her inside of.

* * *

"_Log V: Day I, minute 6:_ I'm stuck inside of Zexion's closet trying to keep the... pink-obsessed Zexion away from me, and the fact that I don't want to make cookies for him. I mean, I would do it if it was for myself but it isn't..." I said out loud as I scribble on the inside wall of the dimly-lit closet with a pencil I found on the closet floor. I looked at my entry for a moment before adding another sentence (& saying it outloud, of course)), "If I never make it out alive, I will haunt Zexion's ass for the rest of my life." I finished my entry with a scribble of a shadow being eaten by a dusk before I slowly opened up the door to peek outside. I saw a shirtless Zexion sitting down on the bed with only a pair of pants on this time. No pink apron, no oven mitts. I thought that maybe he became his calm self so I stepped out of the closet slowly.

Before I took another step, I felt a gust of wind throw me back into the closet and hit my head on the wall. "Ow, shit that hurt!" I said before finally noticing that the gust of wind was Zexion. "What was that for Zexion?" I groaned a little before he looked at me for a second before smirking. "You'll do so nicely to be added to my list. Wouldn't you say so love?" He said as he nuzzled my neck with his head while I looked at him, my eyes turning into the size of plates. "**GET AWAY FROM ME YOU BIPOLAR PERVERT!**" I screamed kicking him off of me and scrambling out of the closet. I shot for under the bed but I felt some grab onto my ankle trying to pull me out from under the bed. "Not so fast love! We're just getting started!" Zexion's voice rang in the air as I screamed, "**AND I SAY THAT WE ARE FINISHED HERE!**"

* * *

Zexion snickered as he saw his drawn-in clones drive Audri to wit's end in the Lexicon. He was now writing some other schemes down on how to drive Audri scared & wondered if he should stop the "Forever-Lover" Zexion from taking Audri to another level of insanity or not. He closed his eyes for a second before he felt a flaming prescece behind him. "Hey Zexy! What's up?" Axel said as he looked over the younger superior's shoulder. "Torturing Audri in Lexicon. Think you can give me an idea to make her scarred for life?" He said looking up at the older man who shivered a little bit as he is a little scared of Zexion after some other... incidents. Axel was looking down at the list of ideas and grinned taking the pencil & scribbled a few things down. Zexion looked at the comment that Axel wrote down and smirked as he grabbed his Lexicon and took out his clone for a minute to... adjust a few things.

* * *

"_Log V: Day I, minute 8_: I'm stuck under the bed & I'm a little scared that the psycho stalker-like Zexion is just waiting for me to come out from under the bed..." I muttered to myself as I wrote with a half-broken pencil that was lying under the bed. I noticed that I was able to crawl under the bed for a moment after I felt Zexion let go of my legs when he was trying to drag me out from under the bed. I lied on my stomach for another minute before signing my next journal and crawling out from under the bed. I looked around to not see Zexion around at the moment. I sighed and sat up before I heard someone whimpering.

I turned my head around to see nothing at first until I looked back to a child sitting on top of Zexion's bed. He looked like a chibified Zexy that was dressed in a big striped sweater that was covering his whole body. I leaned my head on the bed looking up at the emo kid letting him cry some more before saying anything. "What's wrong Zexy?" I asked him as he rubbed his eyes and blew his nose on a tissue, "I'm supposed to be taking my nap but I lost my Mrs. Stuffy Bear. I can't sleep without Mrs. Stuffy Bear!" I looked at him for a moment before snickering a little, "Stuffy Bear?" Zexion just looked at me with more tears down his face whimpering a little about to throw another crying tantrum.

"Ok, if you can't sleep without you Stuffy Bear, why don't I sleep with you?" I said to him while he wiped his eyes with his long sleeves and looked at me with his big puppy eyes, "Will you really?" "Of course!" I said as I got off the floor & crawled under the covers before turning to Zexion, "Hold on for a second. Let me get that shirt off of you. It's soaking wet in your tears." I just tugged off his shirt to see that he was in a pair of baggy boxers around his waist. He just looked at me frowning before he plopped his head down on the pillow & closed his eyes exhausted. I just smiled and curled up next to him thinking that taking a nap would be a good idea...

Well, it wasn't.

* * *

"Wake up love. Time to get up love." I winced a little as I felt something tugging on my arm. "Zexion, can you just let me sleep?" I groaned squinting my eyes a little trying to look at the blue-haired emo before I snapped my eyes open. "Why aren't you a chibi again?" I said glaring at the nobody whose mood (& appearance)) is changing every 20 seconds. "Aw, can't we just cuddle?" He whined as he pulled me into a hug before I just sighed and cracked my knuckles, "Let me give you a hint..."

**POW!**

Zexion was lying on his back unconscious and blood gushing from his head while I held my bleeding fist in pain. "Stupid emo, hugs are for kids." I growled before I got up from the bed & went to the bathroom to get some bandages for my hand.

* * *

To wrap up my day with Zexion, he eventually took me out of Lexicon since I was about to slit his clone's throat. He asked what I learned from him today and what I responded you might ask?

I told him the moral of the day: **Don't ever judge a Lexicon by its cover. **


	12. Babysat by the Order: Part VII

Hey everyone!

Sorry I haven't put anything up in... I dunno, 7 months?

I've been busy with getting ready for college and dealing with my dying computer crisis (which I'm still dealing with D:)

Before I keep you guys waiting anymore, here's the next segment! ^^; Overall, I'm sorry for making you wait D:

* * *

"Oh, Saiiixx~!" I said in a cheery tone of my voice as I rapped my fist against the Luna Diviner's bedroom door waiting for him to open up for his turn to watch over me (I can't really call it baby sitting when I'm 18 years old by this point ^^). I heard something crash in the bedroom and the doorknob was moving slightly before the door opened up. A pissed off yet sleepy Saix was hovering over me as I stood there in the hallway. I tried to not laugh as he stood there in teddy bear boxers, a little scared that I would be pummeled on the spot.

"What the fuck do you need now?" He snarled at me before I held up a box to his face, "It's your turn to watch me and I decided that you're going to teach me how to play chess!"

Saix just looked at me before slamming the door in my face. I put my head against the door to hear some more crashing, possible growling, and a screeching bird?

THe door opened up a minute later with Saix fully dressed in his black Organization cloak and carrying a rather large book under his arm. I just looked up at the Beserker before cocking my head to the side curiously, "So, what's the book fo-" "We're going to go play in the Library at Twilight Town. Don't like that idea, then take your opinion and shove it up your ass." Saix said as he opened a portal up and shoved me through before proceeding himself into the portal.

* * *

"Can I ask why the horse can only move in an L shape?" I asked sitting down on the other side of the table across from Saix. "For the last time, it's called a **KNIGHT**. Second, I don't know **WHY** an L shape! That's just how the game is," Saix said as he held his head in his hands, feeling like he should give up by this point. "Ok, if that's a knight, how come we don't have a dragon on the board?" I asked just wanting to test Saix's patience with me.

Besides the fact that he's been trying to explain these rules to me for the past 2 hours, I can't really do much but still not understand how to play. Saix just looked up at me with a glare that could probably kill me before smacking his head on the table for a good couple of minutes. After his sulking he looked up at me with a bleeding forehead growling, "You are worthless."

"Wow, thanks for that confidence boost," I said glaring back at him before pulling out a first aid box from under the table. "I figured you were going to make some type of big deal and hurt yourself in some freakish way, so I came prepared," I said as I walked around the table and cleaned off his forehead with a washcloth. "I'm fine you stupid runt, just get back to the other side and let us **AT LEAST **start this tormenting game," Saix growled as he tried to brush me away, making me a little annoyed and stand my ground against him.

"Don't be a damn pussy and let me fucking help you at the least," I said a little annoyed by his attitude but I wasn't going to let Saix's pissy behavior get to me right now. Saix just growled at me before he let me help him.

After a few moments, I pulled back with a bloody rag in my hands looking at him satisfied, "Are you feeling better now, Mr. Grumpy Puss?" "Only after I maim you for a little bit, then I'll be in tip-top shape," Saix smirked in an evil way before I backed up rather nervous on Saix's threat. As for the majority of threats the psychotic bastard has made, he usually pulls them off if I really **REALLY** pissed him off.

The Luna Diviner just chuckled at my scrambling attempts of backing up before he got up to his feet and casted a portal under the chess board on the table, "I think we're done for today, wouldn't you say so?" "Yeah, sure... Why not?" I said as I saw the chess board disappear into the portal beneath it.

Saix nodded as he went around the table and rubbed his gloves hand on the left side of my cheek, "Stupid, stupid girl." "Yeah, I know Saix... You tell me everyday," I grumbled a little annoyed before I felt his hair run back to behind my head before I felt my head yanked forward with a seering pain in the back of my head.

"OH **SWEET** GOD! WHAT ARE YOU **DOING** TO MY HEAD?" I shouted as Saix was gripping a fistful of my hair as he yanked up so we were face-to-face. "Well, this is the first stop to me punishing you for not being about to remember anything," Saix said with a small smirk on his face as he yanked my head closer to his while I'm whining and trying to pry Saix's hand away from my head.

"I'm terribly scared of what you're going to do," I said as I wince a little as Saix had made a tighter grip on my hair as he yanked me through a portal that he opened up.

* * *

The next thing I remember, Vexen is patching me up and I'm in my bed with bandages covering every inch of my body. "Ow, sweet god... What happened to me Vexen?" I groaned as I tried to roll onto my side before someone knocked on the door. "Oh, you know... Saix beat the ever-living shit out of you, and some other things which I'm not allowed to talk about," Vexen said as he glanced back over to the door and shouted, "It's open, but try to be quiet!"

The door opened up and Saix stepped into the room with a solemn look on his face. "Oh, great. You're awake," Saix grumbled as he walked over making me try to fit up and figet as I tried to back up into my pillow, "**NO**. Nonononono, Vexen! Get that bastard out of here **NOW**!"

"Vexen, Superior needs to see you right away about some stupid experiment that he wants you to perform on Axel and Marluxia," Saix said cooly as he stopped at the edge of the bed while I fell back on the bed in pain, mostly because of the shaking and aching flowing through my body.

I looked at Vexen with a pitied look as he just shook his head before he left. After he closed the door, Saix just looked down at me with a slight smirk on his face. "Now, what the hell do you want?" I said as I grabbed a hold of a pillow behind my head and held it in front of me, like it was Saix's greatest weakness.

"So, did you like my punishment?" He said as he got closer to me, making me twitch all over in fear, not to mention that I can't do anything with the fact that I'm in pain. "I'm terrified on what you did. What did you do because I can't remember," I said with a confused look on my face before I felt Saix grabbed ahold of my throat and pinned me down to the bed as I heard him snap, "Now, come on you stupid bitch. I know that you know what happened, shall I do it with you again?"

A blush spread over my face as I looked up at the maddening Nobody holding me down on the bed, then again, he's kind of choking me. "Can we not do it again? I remember the first time, and that was terrifying enough!" I was able to choke out before I felt the Nobody lean down and nuzzle my neck in an aggressive way.

"No, for the love of go- S-s-s-s-saaix! S-stop right now!" I screamed blushing as I felt the Nobody was getting... turned on and wanted more from a girl that was injured from the rough sex the night before. "Fuck no. I'm screwing you and there's no stopping m-" Saix was cut off as the door opened up and Xemnas was standing there with the papers in hand, "Saix I need you to- Oh. Holy One-Winged Angel."

There was an awkward silence as the beserker looked over at his Superior before the silver-haired Nobody turned around the walked back out the door. "I'm never going to live that down," I said snickering as Saix turned on me with a snarl slipping out of his throat before he beat me black and blue.

* * *

Moral of a story so deranged with violence and passionate moments?

Never ask revenge-seeking psychopaths to teach you how to play a game.

So, over all! I'm sorry that I haven't written anything in the last many MANY months. This was a hard chapter, mostly because this was Saix. Saix is a hard bastard to write for ._.;

So, I hope to have the rest of the "babysitting" chapters up in the next coming weeks, but I can't guarantee everything ^^;


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